I was sent this harness thing a while ago. According to some guesses on Instagram, it could be a) an exercise thing b) a super hero costume c) a chin fat melter wrap d) a girdle e) a sex harness thing (okay, that was The Boyfriend's rather hopeful guess).
Turns out one of those guesses was right - it's a strap from the LUS Extra V-Line Lift Up chin firming kit. Designed for tightening flabby chins and necks, I was obviously utterly delighted to be sent this by an online shop selling the line.
Wait, no, not utterly delighted. REALLY FRIGGING INSULTED! Thanks for telling me that I have a fat face that needs to be physically restrained to decrease its offending puffiness.
|Artist's interpretation of my giant face|
So of course I tried it. Do I look more attractive now?
SO HOT, RIGHT? You've worked your magic on me, face-reducing harness of my dreams!
By the way, I'm truly sorry/not sorry for the lack of make-up in these photos, bar the lash extensions and the always flattering 'sitting in a 35 degree studio apartment' flush.
Basically it's a lotion-soaked sheet mask, that you apply to your chin and neck before securing with the foam strap (there are ear holes! EAR HOLES!) and securing with velcro. You're then meant to wear this thing for 30-40 minutes.
|I call this my 'wistful staircase gaze'. I'm also standing pigeon-toed. FARSHUNNNN!|
I lasted about five minutes, because the mask started burning and irritating my skin, and honestly it was a bit too much of a sexy look for me. Forget milkshakes, nothing brings the boys to my yard like the allure of de-fattening headgear.
|It's like you don't even have to try to be sexy in this thing!|
When I tried to peel it off, the cursed thing velcroed itself to my hair and flicked gel in my eye. And my neck and chin are as flabby and non-husband-attracting as ever, dammit!
Have you ever tried one of these ridiculous contraptions? Is my face really that fat, that a store in Korea feels compelled to inform me of my unfortunate condition?
Disclaimer: This product was sent to me by Glow and Glamour. They have in no way influenced my review and opinions are my own. It is also my opinion that ain't nothing wrong with a fat face, shake dat jelly! See my Disclaimer for more sexy details.